


Karkat's Stupid Romance Movie

by Le_purple



Category: Homestuck
Genre: B-Movies, Blankets, Carrying, Fluff, M/M, Television Watching, romcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:48:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_purple/pseuds/Le_purple
Summary: Karkat is angry about a show and Dave attempts to calm him down.





	Karkat's Stupid Romance Movie

"=Oh Gengra=" Dendik swooned, falling into Gengra's strong and muscled arms "=I'll love you forever==I don't care about that lowblood Eshryd==I had her killed=" The camera panned out to show her teal and blue dress covered in red blood.

"Dendik,/let's/run/away/together\/Let's/be/matesprites/and/run/away/together/into/the/night\" Gendra took Dendik into his arms and carried her away, the screen fading out to black, the silhouette of a heart closing in on them as they walked into the the distance.

Karkat looked at the screen with abject terror, eyes wide and mouth agape.  
"WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK." He said, Dave looking over at Karkat's shape under the small blanket curiously. "THIS IS THE GIGANTIC FUCKING ENDING THIS 4 HOUR MOVIE WAS BUILDING UP TO?! ESHRYD WAS CLEARLY THE BETTER PARTNER FOR DENDIK IN THIS BULLSHIT CHICK-FLICK! AND REALLY? REALLY?! NEITHER OF THEM HAD ANY PERSONALITY AND THE ONLY FUCKING ASSWIPE IN THIS GOGDAMN MOVIE WAS FUCKING KILLED IN THE LAST FIVE SECONDS FOR NO FUCKING WHATSOEVER OTHER THAN TO SATISFY THE LOWBLOOD-BLOOD-LUST OF THE WRITERS! AND WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MOVIE KILLS OFF ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS-OFF SCREEN-IN THE LAST SCENE?! LIKE 'OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED: I JUST KILLED MY ONCE WRIGGLERHOOD MOIRAIL, WHO WAS ALSO MY LOVING MATESPRITE FOR SWEEPS AND GUESS WHAT? HER BLOOD IS ALL OVER MY DRESS! NOW MY ONCE KISMESIS AND NOW MY MATESPRITE OF QUESTIONABLE ABUSE, WE SHALL KISS AS WE GO TO FUCK KNOWS WHERE!'" Dave was utterly intrigued with the angry mound that was Karkat Vantas. He walked closer and looked at him, bending over next to Karkat to look at his face as he ranted.

"Well personally," Dave started, Karkat looking over to him with a look that could kill, but Dave's glasses just reflected it back to him "I think that movie was a romantic masterpiece. I mean the characters let us see ourselves in them, apart from that fucking Eshryd, her character was so bland and pathetic I like that she was killed with literally no warning or screen time. And those tacky sex scenes were so well done! I mean the way the...tentacle thingy...squirmed...was fucking delightful."

"THAT SEX SCENE WAS POORLY SHOT AND BADLY EDITED!" Karkat hissed, his horns peeking out from the blanket.

"-And don't even get me started about the pure fucking original drama that was the scene where Gengra and Dendik met."

"DAVE THAT FUCKING SCENE HAS BEEN DONE IN A MILLION FUCKING MOVIES, ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!" Without saying a word, Dave tucked one arm behind Karkats knee and put the other on his back. "THE FU-" Dave lifted Karkat up, the blanket pressing his arms against his body so the only limbs he could flail was his legs.  
"DAVE, WHAT THE FUCK?!" He yelled, kicking his legs in protest and trying to free his arms from he tenacious grip of the blanket, Dave smiling slightly as he looked down at him.  
"PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE I TEAR OFF THAT SMUG FUCKING LOOK ON YOUR FACE YOU ASSHOLE!" Karkat squawked, squirming about in Dave's arms before Dave suddenly lost his balance and fell on the bed, Karkat falling with him.

"Are you still mad Karkat?" Dave asked, Karkat laying across Dave's stomach.

"..." Karkat thought for a second "YES."


End file.
